Doom System Survivor: A LitRPG Apocalypse by Harmon Cooper

Author:Harmon Cooper [Cooper, Harmon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Aethon Books
Published: 2025-07-29T00:00:00+00:00

33

POST-APOCALYPTIC ENERGY DRINKS SHOULD COME WITH WARNING LABELS

“These are the ones I have right now,” the merchant named Love said once she finished placing the drinks on the countertop. “They’re sort of cold.”

“Didn’t you tell me you had a bev that would help me sleep?” Samuel asked her. “I guess that wouldn’t make it an energy drink, maybe an anti-energy drink, but you know what I mean.”

Love, who was just about to light another cigarette, took a blue can out of the fridge. Like the others, it was labeled professionally, the words Knock-Out Punch emblazoned on the side of the can in vibrant lettering. “Drink it, and you will rest for an hour. Just one hour. But it will feel like you had a solid eight hours of sleep. Just know that you will experience something like a hangover when you wake up.”

“Yeah, that’s what we take, mate,” Samuel told Hiro. “We drink these and sleep for a bit, then we’re back out there. We can part ways, of course.”

Hiro hesitated for a moment as he looked at the cans.

“It’ll be fine,” Samuel told Love. “We’ll take two of the Knock-Outs. Put them on my tab.”

“Thanks,” Hiro told him. “What do the rest do?” he asked the merchant.

She produced a black can with the word Munster written on it in acid green letters. “Munster gives you an additional point in Strength for a single fight.” Love set this down and picked up a small can that had pink accents. “Pink Bull gives you one additional point in Stamina—just one battle, though.”

“That’s the one I took,” Samuel chimed in as he leaned against the countertop, arms crossed over his chest.

Love continued with a yellow drink shaped almost like a can of Buzzballz. “Smellcius reeks. It stinks so bad that upon consuming it, enemies won’t approach you for ten minutes. Even the most aggressive ones.”

“How bad does it taste?” Hiro asked her.

“Part of the fun is getting it down,” was all the merchant said as she moved to the next can, which was labeled as Haterade, the logo done up in fluorescent orange text. “Haterade aggros enemies in the vicinity and forces them to come after you.”

“Like lures them out?”

“Exactly. Lasts for ten minutes.” She picked up the black can of Smoke Zero. “Drinking this lets you exhale enough smoke that you are able to obscure yourself from an enemy. It lasts two minutes. And it can be dangerous to use if you’re not certain of the environment around you.”

Hiro thought of ways he could use this and ways it could backfire. It would be a good one to have, but I’d still have to physically keep these cans with me. With that in mind…

“Finally, there is Poxstar,” she said, holding up a white can. “This one is probably the most risky of the bunch. You’ll experience heightened senses and agility after drinking Poxstar, making you nearly impossible to hit in combat. But after about fifteen minutes, you will be afflicted with a debilitating case of something that resembles chickenpox and paralysis.

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